Tag Archives: wedding

Super Awkward Roller Derby Fun Time

16 Apr
This weekend involved one of the most surreal experiences in the history of weird moments.
It started with a roller derby.
In an odd little Alaskan town named Wasilla.
(Yeah, that Wasilla)

Wasilla is a very peculiar town, prone to strangeness and idiot policians.
The game itself started out normally, with a pledge and singing of the national anthem. Followed by a insanely awkward public pre-game prayer.
After that, they did a roll call of the junior derby girls, presumably to bring attention that even though this is an adult game, there is a junior league which you should totally enroll your girls into. The only problem is several derby nicknames of the junior girls (ages 10-17) are quite innuendo-laden, including one named “Pound-Her-Puff Girl” and another called “Jack-In-Her-Box.”
Awkward.
After that though, the real derby started and was actually great fun. One of my friends who is involved with the roller derby informed me that my new home has no less than three leagues. I may look into participating. I think my derby name would be Plague Babe, or Ebola Girl, or some other painfully delightful science pun.
At one point I decided to seek coffee, which resulted in me wander about the sports center looking for the sole coffee stand. At one point I found myself under the bleachers and discovered a wedding reception.
A true, honest-to-god wedding reception.
In a sports center.
Under the bleachers.
During a roller derby.
And, at one point, belly dancers joined the derby players. Because it’s Wasilla, which has a perpetual motto of “Screw logic, we do what we want.”
To add to the entertainment, I was in the company of several good friends, who are just as strange as the town we were visiting.
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Wedding Present

8 Mar

I found this sheer thing of squirrely beauty, and immediately had to show it one of my dearest friends, who is currently planning her wedding.

Me: “I think I should get you guys this as a wedding gift.”
Liz: “No! Words cannot express how much he and I don’t want squirrel lamps… upcycled or not.”
Me: ‎”What if they had a bird on them? Oooh, or were made of birds?!”
Liz: “No. Why on earth would you want to give a vegetarian couple a lamp made of dead squirrels?”
Me: “Because it’s hilarious.”

Some people simply can’t appreciate a perfectly good squirrel lamp. What else are we going to do with all our dead rodents? I bet they only mildly smell like road kill. Which is probably considered a redneck aphrodisiac in Georgia. And there’s two of them, so it’s a perfect his-and-hers wedding present.

After she so adamantly rejected the idea, I looked into purchasing them, because there is no such thing as taking a joke too far when it comes to taxidermy and electrical engineering.

The lamps are made by British artist Alex Randall. Unfortunately, they are priced at £820, which Google tells me is about $2054.82.
Which I currently do not have.
(Yet).

One day, Liz… one day.