Tag Archives: sports

Super Awkward Roller Derby Fun Time

16 Apr
This weekend involved one of the most surreal experiences in the history of weird moments.
It started with a roller derby.
In an odd little Alaskan town named Wasilla.
(Yeah, that Wasilla)

Wasilla is a very peculiar town, prone to strangeness and idiot policians.
The game itself started out normally, with a pledge and singing of the national anthem. Followed by a insanely awkward public pre-game prayer.
After that, they did a roll call of the junior derby girls, presumably to bring attention that even though this is an adult game, there is a junior league which you should totally enroll your girls into. The only problem is several derby nicknames of the junior girls (ages 10-17) are quite innuendo-laden, including one named “Pound-Her-Puff Girl” and another called “Jack-In-Her-Box.”
Awkward.
After that though, the real derby started and was actually great fun. One of my friends who is involved with the roller derby informed me that my new home has no less than three leagues. I may look into participating. I think my derby name would be Plague Babe, or Ebola Girl, or some other painfully delightful science pun.
At one point I decided to seek coffee, which resulted in me wander about the sports center looking for the sole coffee stand. At one point I found myself under the bleachers and discovered a wedding reception.
A true, honest-to-god wedding reception.
In a sports center.
Under the bleachers.
During a roller derby.
And, at one point, belly dancers joined the derby players. Because it’s Wasilla, which has a perpetual motto of “Screw logic, we do what we want.”
To add to the entertainment, I was in the company of several good friends, who are just as strange as the town we were visiting.
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