Knit A Congressman A Uterus

21 Mar

With the war on women’s right waging strongly, the fine folks over at Jezebel came up with this brilliant idea. I absolutely love it, and want to learn how to knit or crochet a uterus. I would give mine a dapper monocle, a sweet smile, and a tiny adorable butcher knife, so that Congress will know that if you mess with my uterus, my fancy fancy lady parts WILL CUT YOU!!!

Knit a Uterus to Donate to a Congressman in Need

Remember when we decided that Rick Santorum needed a uterus of his very own so he’d leave ours alone? Well, now there’s a similar idea being proposed for the members of Congress across this great land who seem so insistent on getting all up in our lady parts since they’re jealous they don’t have any of their own. So how exactly are we going to make that happen, since we can’t, you know, give them actual uteruses? Enter Government Free VJJ, a project which aims to have have ladies knit or crochet lovely versions of uteruses (plus cervixes and vulvas) and mail them to their representatives.

If you’ve got some spare time and know how to knit or crochet, pick one of these patterns (or devise your own), fill out this form so they can keep track of who’s getting what, and then mail off the finished product to the statesman of your choice. It might not end the war on women, but at least it will give our beloved representatives something soft to cuddle when they have nightmares about slut-demons and whore-monsters taking over the world with our birth-control riddled godzilla-sized vaginas.

**********************************************************

Click here to find a variety of kick-ass uterus patterns.

Advertisements

2 Responses to “Knit A Congressman A Uterus”

  1. danielwalldammit March 21, 2012 at 00:52 #

    Awesome idea!

  2. mountainmornings March 23, 2012 at 05:06 #

    Thank you so much, I’ve been looking for this pattern!!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: