Wonder Boobs

7 Mar
I don’t currently own an apron. Or anything much resembling cookware. I’ve been rather timid about cooking since I nearly burned down a retirement home trying to heat up a jar of spaghetti sauce. I was 18 at the time, and it was my very first job. I avoided cooking whenever possible since then, and have slowly started to ease into it with my sunny yellow frying pan and trusty rice cooker.
Today, I found this, and instantly fell in love.

Me: “I need this. I think it would inspire me to cook a lot more.”
Tom: “Ha!”
Me: And it would make my boobs look smaller.”
Tom: “Probably.”
Me: “Better food and reasonable sized boobs. What’s not to love? And all the food would all taste delicious! I mean, how can you make a bad meal when you’re wearing a kick-ass apron like that? It’s just absolutely magical. Your tongue would explode with happiness. I would wear this and nothing else!”
Tom: “That sounds safe.”

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